Chapter 27 – The Greatly Merciful, Compassionate Human Buddha
“A monk does not tell lies!”
Monk Budu’s legs kicked wildly in the air as Ye Cang dragged him expressionlessly towards the ship’s railing. He desperately reached out towards Chou Bodeng and the other two, who had returned to the gambling table.
“This humble monk really isn’t lying to you!”
“Come, come, who’s betting big, who’s betting small?” Chou Bodeng shook the black cup. “Place your bets, no more changes!”
“Benefactor Chou! Twin Kui Dragons! Benefactor Zuo, Three Lives Flower! Benefactor Lu, Nine Dragons Cauldron!” Monk Budu gripped the ship’s railing, hanging off the side of the Heavenly Snow Boat like a kite, and bellowed his trump card.
Smack.
Chou Bodeng slammed the black cup upside down on the table, spun around, chair and all, and leaned back lazily with his elbows on the table. His dark eyes were deep and unfriendly. Zuo Yuesheng flexed his fleshy arms, and Lu Jing blew a puff of air, sending the paper slip on his nose flying…
Ye Cang watched, feeling that their imposing manner was exactly like the villains in novels, just about to order their minions to drag away the fool who had offended them to be fed to the dogs. And he, unfortunately, was that “minion.”
Am I really seeking the Dao and immortality, and not just helping a tyrant… or am I?
The “foolish” Monk Budu, hanging from the ship’s railing and being blown sideways by the wind, flashed the three of them a “My Buddha is merciful” smile. “Benefactors, we are truly fated.”
Fortunately, this “fool” was no saint either. It was just a case of dog-eat-dog.
Ye Cang comforted himself.
“Pull him up.”
Chou Bodeng waved his hand and sighed softly. The bald donkey was truly a living demonstration of what it meant to be like cowhide candy you couldn’t shake off. As the saying goes, a shameless person is invincible…
“How virtuous, how virtuous.”
Monk Budu was pulled back up. The moment his feet touched solid ground, a brilliant smile appeared on his face.
Chou Bodeng gave Zuo Yuesheng and Lu Jing a look. With the tacit understanding they had developed over the past few days of gambling, drinking, and being scoundrels, Zuo Yuesheng and Lu Jing didn’t give the bald donkey a chance to say another word. They went up, one on each side, grabbed him, and dragged him directly into the cabin.
“Benefactors! What are you benefactors doing!”
Monk Budu was flustered, turning his head to look at Chou Bodeng. His cultivation was far higher than Zuo Yuesheng’s and Lu Jing’s, so it should have been easy for him to break free. Unfortunately, he had been squatting in the miasma for days and was already exhausted, relying solely on the prospect of “money” to hold on.
“Don’t worry, don’t worry.”
Chou Bodeng gathered the four dice in his hand and followed behind with a smile.
“Just a little chat, to deepen our ‘karmic bond’.”
Monk Budu’s voice disappeared as soon as he entered the cabin room.
Ye Cang and Lou Jiang, left on the deck of the Heavenly Snow Boat, looked at each other, unable to understand how things had taken such a turn. But if one had to say, Lou Jiang had a sense of “ah, well, it’s like this again,” a feeling of being a seasoned veteran… His peripheral vision caught Ye Cang standing there with a serious expression, and a subtle sense of achievement and pride as a fellow sufferer welled up in him.
“Don’t worry,” Lou Jiang felt it was necessary to give some advice to Ye Cang, a fellow traveler on this road of suffering. “Monk Budu is the Buddhist Saint of the Buddhist Sect. They won’t really kill him… The Young Pavilion Master may be reckless, but he has his limits. You don’t have to worry too much…”
Ye Cang gave Lou Jiang a strange look. “I’m not worried about that.”
“…If you’re not worried about that, why do you keep staring at the cabin?”
“I was wondering if I should go help,” Ye Cang said as if it were the most natural thing in the world. “Didn’t you say that Monk Budu is the Buddhist Saint? His cultivation must be higher than Martial Grand-Ancestor’s and the others’. If a real fight breaks out, what if Martial Grand-Ancestor can’t win? If Martial Grand-Ancestor gets beaten up while I stand by and watch, my ‘character’ score for the Taiyi assessment will definitely be docked, right?”
“…”
Lou Jiang silently turned his back, letting the cold, sharp wind beat against his face.
Why did he think an idiot was a fellow sufferer? What suffering was he going through! He was clearly eager to join the idiot squad!
***
Zuo Yuesheng took out that jade tablet again.
As he injected spiritual power into it, Monk Budu, who was squatting obediently on the ground, stared with wide eyes, repeatedly praising, “Benefactor Zuo has such wealth! Is that a Silent Realm Stone with a ‘Silence’ formation sealed inside? This humble monk has also heard of such things. It’s said that one piece sells for three thousand taels of snow silver… Benefactor Zuo, this humble monk sees that you have a karmic bond with our Buddha.”
“Get lost!” Zuo Yuesheng replied resoundingly.
“Monk, you’re trying to solicit alms from the wrong person,” Chou Bodeng said in a soft, slow voice. He was lounging improperly in an armchair, crushing a White Iris Three Purities Pill, wrapping it in a handkerchief, and waving it in front of his nose to combat the sour, stinky smell coming from Monk Budu. “Don’t be fooled by Benefactor Zuo’s generous heart and stout body. He’s actually like a Pixiu, only takes in, never lets out. Trying to extort things from him is harder than ascending to the heavens.”
Hearing Chou Bodeng speak so pleasantly, Zuo Yuesheng and Lu Jing exchanged a look, both feeling that the bald donkey wouldn’t live past today… The more wicked thoughts Young Master Chou harbored, the more his face would be wreathed in smiles, like a spring breeze, insidiously vicious.
They didn’t know which of the monk’s words had truly ignited Young Master Chou’s anger.
“Bald donkey.”
Lu Jing cleared his throat, put on a fierce expression, and glared at Monk Budu.
“What did you mean just now when you mentioned the ‘Nine Dragons Cauldron’? What do you know? Speak!”
“Aiya, aiya, about that,” Monk Budu sat cross-legged, one hand fiddling with his Buddhist beads, the other placed on his chest, looking as upright as could be. “This humble monk absolutely does not know that one of the dragon heads on the Medicine Valley Master’s Nine Dragons Cauldron was knocked off.”
“What!”
Zuo Yuesheng exclaimed, looking at Lu Jing as if he were some unprecedentedly wasteful prodigal son.
Lu Jing’s fair face instantly turned red. He stammered, “…I just wanted to try refining a pill, but it exploded. I didn’t expect that dragon head to be so fragile.”
“Aiya, no matter, no matter,” Monk Budu said with a grin. “For a heavenly treasure to become a true marvel, doesn’t it have to endure a heavenly tribulation? This humble monk sees that you were simply the Nine Dragons Cauldron’s tribulation. However, this humble monk has heard that the Medicine Valley Master is still offering a reward for an unknown thief… The reward seems to be… ten thousand snow silver, was it?”
Chou Bodeng let out an “Oh,” as if in sudden understanding.
It seemed that besides looking for the Soul-Returning Grass, the “Nine Dragons Cauldron tribulation” was another major reason for Lu Jing’s running away from home.
Zuo Yuesheng murmured, “Ten thousand taels, that’s not excessive.”
Lu Jing retorted, “Bald donkey! What about the Three Lives Flower?”
Zuo Yuesheng’s voice came to an abrupt halt.
“As for the Three Lives Flower, I imagine you all have heard that the Mountain Sea Pavilion and the Buddhist Sect have had some friction in recent years,” Monk Budu said eloquently. “But I imagine you don’t know that several years ago, the Mountain Sea Pavilion Master visited our sect’s Zen Master Xingkong. It happened to be when the sacred lotuses in the Golden Buddha Pond were blooming. The Pavilion Master, seeing a chance, wanted to ask the Zen Master for a flower. The Zen Master refused. But then, for some reason… that night, the Golden Buddha Pond was robbed. Zen Master Xingkong was furious and fell out with the Pavilion Master. But as for who exactly picked the sacred flower, ah, that’s an unsolved case.”
Chou Bodeng and Lu Jing both looked at Zuo Yuesheng.
“Classmate Fatty Zuo,” Chou Bodeng scrutinized him, pinching his chin. “No wonder you’ve been in exile all these years.”
So it was because he had let his own father take such a huge blame. Pavilion Master Zuo must have been very vexed. Why did he only have one son?
“As for Benefactor Chou…”
Monk Budu shifted his gaze to Chou Bodeng.
Zuo Yuesheng’s left hand behind his back clasped a pearl shimmering with spiritual energy. Lu Jing’s hand behind his back held a short saber, which slid silently from its sheath. Chou Bodeng waited with a faint smile for Monk Budu’s next words, the Taiyi Sword hovering silently behind the bald donkey.
“This humble monk, though untalented, guesses that the person who gave you the Kui Dragon Bracelet probably has some connection to the Hundred Clans’ current southern expedition…” Monk Budu’s lewd expression was swept away, replaced by a dignified and righteous one. “Ten thousand snow silver, and this humble monk will immediately forget all past events! Ten thousand gold, and this humble monk will immediately ask my master to personally read your fortunes, guaranteeing that Taiyi will absolutely not do something like breaking up a happy couple! How about it!”
Snap.
Zuo Yuesheng nearly crushed the Spirit-Containing Pearl in his hand. Lu Jing almost stabbed himself in the back. The Taiyi Sword jerked backward.
The bald donkey’s eyebrows danced with delight.
“Better to destroy a temple than to break up a marriage, isn’t that a great deal! Benefactor Zuo and Benefactor Lu can consider it too. Add a little more silver, and not only will this humble monk forget all past events, but I can also make the dragon head grow back and the sacred flower bloom again! How about it? This is a limited-time offer!”
“Get lost!” three people cursed in unison.
“Seriously,” Chou Bodeng asked with genuine sincerity, “the Buddhist divine art of ‘Observing All Beings,’ you use it for blackmail. Does Zen Master Wuchen know?”
“He knows.”
Monk Budu wistfully took out a prayer bead.
Under the gazes of the three, he tapped the bead with his finger. The next moment, a thunderously angry “Lion’s Roar” exploded throughout the room like a hurricane: “‘Observing All Beings,’ observing the past, the future, the present, is for observing a person’s inner demons, for saving the world and helping people, not for you to—”
“Smack.”
Monk Budu slapped the prayer bead, and the voice instantly vanished.
“He even used the Vajra Demon-Subduing Lion’s Roar,” Monk Budu said with a mournful face. “Woe is me, woe is me.”
“Serves you right,” Chou Bodeng said, covering his ears and cursing irritably.
“You can’t say that,” Monk Budu said shamelessly. “The greatly merciful, compassionate human Buddha, saving the world and helping people, doesn’t need one more of me.” But soon, his face fell, revealing a pitiful expression. “However, I’m afraid I’ll have to face a beating from the Eighteen Arhats Cudgel when I go back… The only ones who can save this little monk now are you benefactors! If you three benefactors are willing to offer a bit of good karma and let this humble monk repair the Great Hero Treasure Hall after returning to the sect, I think my master will be a little lighter with his blows.”
“He should hit you harder,” Chou Bodeng said expressionlessly.
“Aiya, don’t be like that,” Monk Budu said hurriedly. “How about a buy-one-get-one-free deal? Aren’t you curious why the Hundred Clans are mobilizing such a large force to attack the Witch Clan this time?”
Without waiting for an answer, he announced it himself.
“Because Heaven Beyond Heavens wants to kill someone.”