Chapter 105 – Xiao’s Rainbow Fart Returns to Work
After the snacks were distributed at the entrance, everyone began their tasks. Guo Mengyun was assigned to play with the children this time. Her sweet and approachable appearance made the children particularly willing to play with her. Feng Dang’s group got the worst job of cleaning, and this place was much dirtier than the previous orphanage. He looked displeased and didn’t give his teammate, Zhang San, a pleasant look. Fortunately, Zhang San was a relatively calm person and went to grab a broom with a smile.
Feng Dang, unhappy, started finding fault everywhere. When this was broadcast, his public image would surely take another hit, but he himself seemed oblivious, continuing to cause trouble as he pleased. To avoid any arguments, Xiao Fang grabbed the sickle and old kitchen knife given by the director and dragged Fei Xiangnan up the mountain.
Just then, a tender voice called out to Xiao Fang. He turned around to see the little girl with the apple-like face. Her eyes blinked as she stared at him.
“Brother, can you take me up the mountain? I can be your guide.” She really just wanted to play with Xiao Fang, but she phrased it in a particularly cute way. Xiao Fang looked at Director Liang. Of course, Director Liang wouldn’t refuse such a thing. After getting the director’s permission, Xiao Fang took the little girl up the mountain.
Because the mountain path was difficult to walk and the cameraman was carrying a heavy camera, everyone walked rather slowly. The little girl, nicknamed Little Apple, which suited her perfectly, was a name Xiao Fang found incredibly easy to say.
Little Apple led the way like a pro, her chubby legs moving more smoothly than anyone else’s. Since he hadn’t walked in places like this for a long time, Xiao Fang had to rely on Fei Xiangnan to pull him up some of the slopes. Fei Xiangnan, who usually sat in an office, displayed formidable strength, not even breathing heavily throughout the journey.
Xiao Fang felt a pang of jealousy but then comfortably enjoyed Fei Xiangnan’s service.
Fei Xiangnan had a relatively tiring journey. He had to pull Xiao Fang, occasionally help the cameraman, and also keep an eye on Little Apple walking ahead to ensure her safety. Yet, he didn’t complain once, maintaining the same expression throughout the gathering process.
Xiao Fang, carrying a small basket, wearing a straw hat, and holding a sickle, looked just like a little farmer. His face was flushed as he looked at the resource-rich mountain, occasionally revealing a fatherly smile. The post-production team very pointedly added text for Xiao Fang: Where should I start eating?
Along the way, Xiao Fang collected many mushrooms, following Little Apple’s guidance to skip the inedible ones. Sometimes, he would run off from the group to find wood ear mushrooms, and Little Apple would frolic along with him. Watching this scene, Fei Xiangnan came to a very important decision, one that concerned the happiness of the rest of his life and the entire Fei family.
Should they have a daughter?
Fei Xiangnan, who desperately wanted a daughter, couldn’t help but have improper thoughts about Xiao Fang again.
As they walked, they reached the bamboo forest Little Apple had mentioned. There were no spring bamboo shoots this season, but in the south, there were still summer bamboo shoots. They weren’t large, but they were crisp and chewy, in no way inferior to spring shoots.
Xiao Fang was ecstatic when he saw the summer shoots. At first, he used the sickle to cut them, but he gradually gave up on that method and switched to his hands. He would first bend the summer shoot with the tip of his foot and then pull it out like a radish, one after another, thoroughly enjoying himself.
The cameraman, watching all along, noticed that whenever Xiao Fang was pulling, Fei Xiangnan would stand behind him with his hands slightly outstretched, afraid he might fall. As if fate wanted to comply with Fei Xiangnan’s decision, Xiao Fang used all his strength on a particularly large summer shoot. Before he could even show it off, he was about to fall. At that moment, Fei Xiangnan immediately reached out to catch him, his hands supporting Xiao Fang’s arms, and then effortlessly lifted him up.
There was a bit of a height difference between Xiao Fang and Fei Xiangnan. This time, Fei Xiangnan lifted him straight up, just like lifting a child.
How could the cameraman brother let go of such a sweet scene? He had successfully snatched the spot to film Xiao Fang from the other guys in the camera crew, and it certainly didn’t disappoint him. It was incredibly exciting.
Xiao Fang was a little startled by this, his face turning red with bewilderment. They were already an old married couple, but this sudden move still made him feel a bit shy.
“Brother, I want a hug too.” Little Apple, holding a summer shoot half her size, came running over, her eyes shining as she looked at Xiao Fang being held high. Xiao Fang, blushing, asked Fei Xiangnan to put him down and then gestured to Fei Xiangnan with his eyes.
Fei Xiangnan was silent for a second, then calmly lifted Little Apple, shoot and all. Little Apple let out a cry of surprise, then laughed happily, her chubby legs dangling joyfully in the air.
Xiao Fang stroked his chin, lost in thought. Next time they took a family photo, they had to use this pose. It was pretty cool.
After the three of them finished collecting ingredients, they headed down the mountain. On the way, Fei Xiangnan took the basket from Xiao Fang’s back. Xiao Fang then held the hand of a tired Little Apple, walking in front of Fei Xiangnan. The scene looked just like a family of three, and the cameraman brother filmed it with great enthusiasm.
After gathering ingredients on the mountain, the ingredients Mo Ze and Li Si bought from the market also arrived. Xiao Fang and Fei Xiangnan then started preparing in the kitchen.
When he heard that Fei Xiangnan was going to cut vegetables, Xiao Fang’s face stiffened, and his internal roasting machine went into overdrive. With your skill level of just mixing baby formula, and at best, slicing fruit, where do you get the confidence to cut vegetables?
“Can’t I do it?” Fei Xiangnan shot Xiao Fang a look, and Xiao Fang immediately cowered.
He tremblingly handed over a potato. “Then first cut the potato into, um, slices.” Xiao Fang, who had originally wanted to ask for shreds, gave up on the idea. Slices were more realistic.
Fei Xiangnan nodded and brandished the knife at the already washed and peeled potato.
Potato: I’m suddenly feeling a bit panicked. Can you leave me a little dignity?
Fei Xiangnan’s expression was extremely serious and professional as he brought the knife down, finding the most perfect cutting point as if performing a solemn ceremony. Plink. He cut it crookedly. The potato finally lost its due dignity, separating into a ridiculously small piece. To call it a slice would be an overstatement. To call it a chunk… well, one could only say it was extremely ugly.
Fei Xiangnan realized something was wrong and looked at Xiao Fang, his eyes filled with the question, Did I cut it wrong? Xiao Fang was mentally clutching his heart.
Could he let his President Fei be defeated? Of course not!
“Wow, this potato chunk is cut with such soul! Did you know from the start that I was going to use potato chunks for beef stew? You know me so well, truly my partner!” Xiao Fang resumed his old trade, blindly praising him.
Fei Xiangnan was very pleased with this and even happily repeated, “Yes, I know you.” Then he turned back to cheerfully cutting chunks.
Xiao Fang’s insincere smile immediately switched to a professional fake smile. It couldn’t be more fake. The post-production team unscrupulously added text for Xiao Fang: Life is not easy, Fangfang fake smiles.
After finishing the potato chunks, Fei Xiangnan looked at Xiao Fang with sparkling eyes, waiting for his next assignment. Xiao Fang, like a warrior heading into battle, wore a smile of self-abandonment and handed Fei Xiangnan the beef brisket.
“Cut this into chunks too.”
“Chunks again?” Fei Xiangnan hinted with his eyes that he could actually cut other shapes. Did Xiao Fang believe him? Of course not, not at all.
“I think the shape of the chunks you cut is particularly perfect!”
“Really?” Fei Xiangnan asked insincerely, his face screaming, Keep praising me.
Xiao Fang, clutching his aching conscience, said, “Yes, I’ve never cut potatoes so neatly.”
“You need to practice that more. It’s fine, I’ll teach you when I have time,” Fei Xiangnan said proudly.
I thank your whole family! Xiao Fang put on a professional fake smile and cheered, using the astonished smile of a young female idol. “Really? That’s great! I’m so happy!”
Young Maiden Xiao’s over-the-top starry-eyed acting continued to be online.
Fei Xiangnan smiled dotingly and said there was no need to be polite.
The cameraman brother filming on the side was about to die from laughter. But he couldn’t let President Fei think it was a fake smile. He was a professional. No matter how funny it was, he had to hold it in, unless he couldn’t. But facing the gold-daddy sponsor, if he couldn’t hold it in, he would honorably get his pink slip. Forget it, he’d laugh later when he got back.
So, for the rest of the time, carrots, cucumbers, eggplants—anything that could be cut into chunks was handed over to this master. And he had to be praised while cutting. As the legally married partner, Xiao Fang was officially worried sick about life.
“Wow, this eggplant is cut so evenly, consistent in size, each piece distinct, and the occasional artistic crooked cut, ahem, the flower cut is also just right! President Fei, I didn’t realize your cooking skills were so good!”
“It’s nothing. I’m also quite accomplished at shredding.”
“Could you please cut this cucumber into chunks too, President Fei? You’re so amazing at cutting chunks, I can totally imagine your skill at shredding. It’s just that we don’t need chunks today. You can show off next time!” I’m just afraid you’ll embarrass yourself on the spot and then torture me at home! Xiao Fang was crying a storm inside.
“No problem, I’ll show you next time.”
“President Fei is truly good in the boardroom and in the kitchen.” Xiao Fang’s face was starting to cramp from smiling, and his conscience ached intermittently, but Fei Xiangnan was very happy.
Finally, the long vegetable-cutting session ended, and Xiao Fang’s rainbow farts could finally stop. Now it was Xiao Fang’s turn to show his skills.
The cameraman had never thought Xiao Fang could do anything fancy, so he just planned to film symbolically. Any mistakes would be cut out in post-production. Since the last cooking incident, the production team had discussed that if things really didn’t work out, they could resort to bringing in outside help. They hadn’t carefully asked which actors could actually cook, especially for Xiao Fang’s group. A rich second generation and a CEO of a public company—it was hard to believe these two could make anything. As long as they got the show’s effect, it was fine. The Weibo post Xiao Fang had made about cooking before was still questionable; after all, it was a common tactic.
Xiao Fang was unaware of the production team’s thoughts. When it was finally his turn, he rolled up his sleeves and, with a heroic air, turned on the stove, poured the oil, and started cooking.
Stir-frying, adding seasonings, pouring water, flash-frying—the aroma of the dishes wafted to the cameraman brother’s nose. Could Xiao Fang really cook?
Xiao Fang’s movements were extremely skilled. At this point, Fei Xiangnan very tacitly became Xiao Fang’s assistant. The two of them seemed to have cooperated like this before, without any panic, a world of difference from Mo Ze’s group last time.
The weather was actually very hot, so Fei Xiangnan had prepared a clean, damp towel. Every few minutes, he would say, “Wipe your sweat,” and Xiao Fang would obediently bring his face over to rub against the towel, saving Fei Xiangnan the trouble of doing it himself.
This time, because the number of people in the orphanage wasn’t very large, they prepared a single table for everyone to sit at. Xiao Fang managed to make so much food in a short amount of time. The cameraman brother went from initial surprise to his jaw almost dropping. This was too damn impressive!
Scrambled eggs with crab flavor, cold-dressed cucumber, stir-fried carrots with meat, soy-sauce-braised chicken legs, cola chicken wings, potato and beef stew, stir-fried seasonal vegetables, stir-fried beef with bamboo shoots, cold-dressed wood ear mushrooms, mushroom and egg soup, and braised eggplant—the dishes looked so appetizing they made one’s mouth water.
Outside, preparations were almost complete. This time, everyone was going to eat outside. Director Wang had specially prepared a small classroom in the orphanage. Since there wasn’t a table big enough, they pushed the desks together and covered them with a new tablecloth the director had bought.
Most of the children here were simple and honest. People came to adopt less than twice a year, so the children here treated this place as their real home, and the director was their grandfather and teacher.
Apart from their initial excitement at seeing Xiao Fang, they were incredibly well-behaved the rest of the time. This made everyone participating in the variety show feel a pang of sympathy.
Everyone sat properly in their chairs, waiting for the food to be served. Xiao Fang and the others brought out the dishes one by one. The portions were generous, and everyone gasped in amazement when they saw the food. After all the dishes were on the table, the director coughed and said, “Today’s meal was made by these two big brothers. What should we do?”
The children stood up in unison and said, “Thank you, Brother Xiao Fang, and Uncle Fei Xiangnan!”
Crash!
Xiao Fang felt as if he heard the sound of his world collapsing.
Only three words echoed in his mind: It’s all over.