Chapter 61 – It’s All the Hot Pot’s Fault!
Although they wanted to spend more time with the two elders, Fei Xiangnan had to work, and Xiao Fang’s current condition made it unwise to stay long. After they explained the situation, the two courteous old folks expressed their understanding. However, their parental instincts made them hope the two could truly settle down without having to hide. Why should a marriage require so many people’s approval? Only after Fei Xiangnan repeatedly promised to arrange things in advance did the elders feel at ease.
They stayed for two days and one night. It took multiple persuasions from Xiao Fang before Fei Xiangnan reluctantly gifted the Celadon Crackle-Glaze Tripod Brush Washer, feeling it was a rather humble present. As Xiao Fang had predicted, his grandfather was overjoyed. It had been a long time since he had seen a tripod brush washer of such quality, and he treasured it like a gem, placing it on his bookshelf. Fei Xiangnan, a pragmatist at heart, couldn’t help but gasp inwardly before putting on an act and saying, “I knew that common trinkets wouldn’t catch your eye, Grandpa. After thinking it over, I realized only this brush washer from my home would be worthy of you. As a businessman, I don’t understand these things. Giving it to you, Grandpa, is giving it to its rightful home.”
This speech successfully won over his grandfather’s heart. Coupled with the connoisseurship knowledge he had crammed for days, he and the grandfather had delightful conversations over those two days, and his grandfather began to approve of the young man.
He was neither arrogant nor impetuous, far better than Xiao Fang’s father. Back then, when his father visited, he would fall asleep within half an hour of listening to him talk about paintings. He didn’t want to think about that. Thinking of this, his grandfather felt a little melancholic. If only he had looked more carefully back then.
On the afternoon before they left, the trunk of Xiao Fang’s car was filled with half a box of vegetables. With reluctant eyes, his grandparents gave Xiao Fang all sorts of advice. Xiao Fang promised to come back and see them after giving birth and finishing his postpartum confinement.
“How can you run around like that right after your confinement? We’ll come to see you instead,” his grandmother said worriedly, speaking from experience.
Xiao Fang immediately refused. “It would be my fault to have you two elders travel all that way. I’m a man; postpartum confinement isn’t as difficult for me as it is for women. Don’t worry.”
His grandfather patted his grandmother’s shoulder. After a moment of hesitation, his grandmother finally nodded. After saying their goodbyes, Xiao Fang and Fei Xiangnan embarked on their journey home.
Sitting in the passenger seat, Xiao Fang felt a real sense of returning home for the first time. His father’s side didn’t count; only here did he feel a sense of family. His family wholeheartedly thought of him, there were warm meals, and there were nagging yet comforting reminders. Xiao Fang closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around his belly as a warm current flowed through his heart, bringing warmth to the cold winter day.
While waiting at a red light, Fei Xiangnan immediately took a warm woolen blanket from the compartment and covered Xiao Fang with it. When his large hand touched Xiao Fang’s bulging belly, he couldn’t help but start looking forward to their life as a family of three with Da Bao.
The car drove steadily forward, carrying with it a hope for the future, heading toward a brighter tomorrow.
In the last half-month of his pregnancy, Xiao Fang started keeping a pregnancy diary in his journal. Besides his anticipation for Da Bao, the most frequent topic was food!
January 10th. Woke up this morning and immediately thought of the butter hot pot from my memories. Freshly scalded fatty beef and tripe, dipped in a sesame oil sauce, the spicy taste stimulating the highest level of satisfaction. And wide vermicelli, lettuce, fish balls, fish slices, kelp knots, fatty lamb slices, bamboo shoots, and luncheon meat. If I could eat all of this…
Xiao Fang hugged Nuomici and started swallowing his saliva. He felt like he couldn’t continue writing in his diary today; he was about to go crazy from the cravings.
All this food was so close, yet there was a huge mountain standing in front of it. The mountain’s name was Fei Xiangnan.
“Hmm? You want to eat hot pot? What if you get diarrhea? The hygiene of that kind of food is questionable. Not allowed!” President Fei mercilessly shattered Xiao Fang’s fantasy.
Still trying to struggle, Xiao Fang used the child in his belly as an excuse. “It’s not me who wants to eat it, it’s Da Bao. He’s been kicking my stomach these past few days. He must be trying to tell his daddy that he doesn’t want to eat this bland food anymore!” As he spoke, he couldn’t help but swallow again, looking at Fei Xiangnan with pleading eyes.
President Fei had already overcome several mountains in his heart regarding his wife’s super-foodie nature and was completely unfazed by him. He casually picked up a preserved plum made by Que Jiang from a plate and stuffed it into Xiao Fang’s mouth, saying devilishly, “Eat this when you’re craving something. It’s healthy.”
Healthy my ass! With the plum in his mouth, Xiao Fang looked like an angry little squirrel. He had had enough of eating preserved plums every day! Who said pregnant men only wanted to eat preserved plums? He wanted meat, meat scalded in hot pot! Argh!
President Fei, who had been working, saw his wife’s adorable appearance and couldn’t resist hugging and kissing him. The sweet and sour taste of the plum filled the air, and pink bubbles nearly flooded the entire study.
Even after getting a kiss, Xiao Fang was not satisfied. His heart still held the white moonlight named hot pot.
Timid in the face of Fei Xiangnan, Xiao Fang could only plan when Fei Xiangnan was at work. After two weeks of careful consideration, Xiao Fang finally took a firm step two days before he was due to be admitted to the hospital for delivery.
“What? You want to eat hot pot now?!” Xiao Ma nearly fell apart on the other end of the phone. Was this master of his trying to get himself killed, or did he have a grudge against him and wanted President Fei to come and skin him alive?
Xiao Fang wouldn’t have brought it up if he could have endured it any longer. He was truly at his limit. Besides, the doctor had even advised that it wasn’t strange for pregnant men to crave spicy or sour things. But Fei Xiangnan seemed to have a vendetta against anything spicy. Except for what he cooked himself, everything else was off the table because eating spicy food could cause diarrhea. Now, he even stood guard at the door every time Xiao Fang went to the bathroom, extremely worried.
Xiao Fang didn’t even know if he was the one giving birth or if Fei Xiangnan was.
“My classmate’s mom ate stinky tofu every day when she was pregnant, the double-devil-spicy kind, and nothing happened to her. It’s not strange for pregnant men to eat spicy food, but Xiangnan keeps restricting me. I’m going to the hospital for delivery the day after tomorrow, and after that is a long postpartum confinement period. It’s just… so hard for me. Can you endure five or six months without touching something as wonderful as hot pot?” Xiao Fang used both hard and soft tactics, a two-pronged approach, trying to win Xiao Ma over.
Not eating hot pot for five or six months sounded miserable.
“But, what if you get diarrhea, Brother Xiao?” Xiao Ma questioned.
Xiao Fang knew his own stomach very well. In fact, a third-gender pregnancy wasn’t as fragile as a woman’s. As long as they didn’t engage in dangerous activities like bungee jumping, it was difficult to miscarry. Even the postpartum confinement was something pampered out of wealthy families. In reality, a third-gender person could be up and about a day or two after giving birth, once the wound had healed. The children born were physically and intellectually advanced, which was why the country prohibited third-gender abortions. Their hardware was just too excellent; it would be a disservice to the country not to give birth.
“Don’t worry, third-gender people have very good physical constitutions. I haven’t even had morning sickness, and I eat like a horse. It’s just that, you know, my family is especially nervous about the first child, which is why they’ve set so many restrictions.” If it weren’t for these robust physical conditions, Xiao Fang wouldn’t dare to joke around with the baby’s health.
Xiao Ma was half-convinced. After looking at case studies for nearly two hours, he was finally reassured. After all, Xiao Fang was his real boss, so he agreed.
However, he had a condition: they had to order takeout and eat at home. Xiao Fang’s value was not what it used to be. With the broadcast of “Dynasty,” Xiao Fang had shot up from the bottom rung to the ranks of a second-tier star. In the coming months of March and April, there would be award ceremonies for “Dynasty,” and Xiao Fang was definitely the biggest dark horse of the year.
At one in the afternoon, the famous actor Xiao Fang finally got to eat the hot pot he had been dreaming of. He ordered a double-flavor pot with butter and tomato broth. As the water boiled, the unique aroma of hot pot filled the living room.
Xiao Fang was practically drooling. His chopsticks flew as he dumped a bowl of his favorite fatty beef into the pot, followed by duck intestines, tripe, and other meats, and waited for it to cook.
“Brother Xiao, do you think we should open the window for some air? The smell of hot pot is too strong and won’t dissipate easily,” Xiao Ma said, looking around the living room nervously. He was terrified of President Fei.
Xiao Fang picked up a piece of fatty beef, rolled it gracefully in the oil-based dipping sauce, and chewed it fragrantly in his mouth, a look of satisfaction and composure on his face. “Don’t worry. Before you came, I went to the community supermarket and bought an air freshener. It’s a brand highly recommended by the wives around here. The scent isn’t strong, and it’s particularly effective at removing the smell of hot pot.” Xiao Fang revealed a resourceful smile.
Over the past few months, he had built a good relationship with the wives in the community. They were all people of status, and they lived in properties owned by Fei Xiangnan, so of course, they wouldn’t gossip. Xiao Fang was handsome, a smooth talker, and his rainbow farts were particularly rhythmic, which made him very popular among them.
Xiao Ma looked at Xiao Fang with shining eyes and slowly gave him a thumbs-up. As expected of his Brother Xiao, so thoughtful!
“By the way, how are things going with you and Que Jiang lately?” Gossiping while eating hot pot is the best, isn’t it?
Watching Xiao Fang about to evolve into a gossiping old woman cracking sunflower seeds, Xiao Ma felt immense pressure!
He put a piece of fatty beef in his bowl, stirred it around, and said with some distress, “Are all same-sex pursuits this passionate nowadays? I can’t shake him off at all.”
He recalled liking a quiet girl in his class back in high school. For three consecutive years, he had a secret crush on her. The more he longed for her in his heart, the more shy he was on the surface. It wasn’t until graduation that it became a sweet and sour memory. See, how poetic. But Que Jiang’s pursuit was completely different!
“Hehe, I think you should just give in,” Xiao Fang said, his eyes twinkling with gossip, his mouth never stopping as he ate one scalding piece after another.
Xiao Ma looked at Xiao Fang helplessly. Why did he feel like his Brother Xiao had completely betrayed him? He clearly respected his opinion before. Truly, a man’s words are deceiving lies!
Amidst the gossip, Xiao Fang was savoring his fatty beef slices when he suddenly felt a cold sensation down below, as if something was flowing out.
Uh…
“Xiao Ma, do you think men can get periods?” The more nervous Xiao Fang got, the calmer he appeared.
“No, not even third-gender people need to. Why do you ask?” Xiao Ma was completely out of it.
Xiao Fang stared blankly down below. “I feel like something is flowing out. If it’s not a period, what else could it be?”
The air froze for a few seconds.
Xiao Ma’s eyes widened. What else could it be? “Brother Xiao, don’t tell me… your water broke?”
Xiao Fang dazedly reached down to feel. Hmm, it was wet. It wasn’t a period, so that must be it. Come to think of it, his stomach was starting to hurt a little. “I think… it probably is.”
Ahhhhhh! Xiao Ma nearly split apart right then and there.
In a flurry of panic, Xiao Ma called the private hospital where Xiao Fang had been getting his check-ups. They said they would arrive in ten minutes. Xiao Ma felt like he was in a state of unprecedented anxiety for the next half hour. On the way, it was Fei Xiangnan, the pregnant man himself, who was comforting him, but Xiao Ma still hadn’t recovered. It wasn’t until Xiao Fang was successfully admitted to the operating room that a few large words slowly appeared above Xiao Ma’s head.
His family line was going to end with his generation!