Chapter 98 – Nightmare

As night fell, Lin Ganzhi, lying in bed, suddenly smelled the damp, musty odor from his memories. He wanted to open his eyes, but his eyelids felt glued shut. Yet, the feeling was so familiar that even with his eyes closed, he knew where he was. At that moment, his stomach began to churn violently, a wave of nausea rising to his throat. Lin Ganzhi felt so awful he couldn’t even make a sound.

Was he… back? Back in the basement he lived in before he died?

Lin Ganzhi’s mind went blank for a moment. Everything around him was terrifyingly real. Even though he couldn’t open his eyes, he could clearly feel it all: the piercing sound of a drill coming from the small window, the couple upstairs starting their incessant arguments again, the occasional sound of a stool being thrown overhead, the faint sound of slaps, and the hoarse cries of a woman.

Lin Ganzhi struggled to get up, but his body was completely out of his control. He could only endure it all in this suffocating environment. The cold, damp air filled his nostrils. After this continued for a long time, Lin Ganzhi gradually gave up struggling, gave up trying to open his eyes, and at the same time, began to feel a despair he had never felt before.

He hadn’t even had a chance to say a proper goodbye to Yan Shengping.

“Uu…”

Lin Ganzhi’s nose quickly stung with tears, and his hands weakly clutched the damp bedsheets. If he had known, he wouldn’t have been in such a hurry to push Yan Shengping away today. Maybe he could have chatted with him a little longer.

Now, even if he died, he might not be able to return to that world. And even if he did, it might not be like this life, where he just happened to meet Yan Shengping.

Knock, knock, knock!

The door right next to his feet was suddenly pounded on urgently. The landlord’s voice came from outside: “Lin Ganzhi, you’re the only one left who hasn’t paid the rent! How can you be so late with five hundred yuan? I’m telling you, there are plenty of people who want to live here. If you don’t pay today, you’re moving out tonight!”

I’ll pay. The money is right under my pillow. But I can’t move right now. I still have two thousand yuan left, I can pay. I don’t want to owe anyone.

Lin Ganzhi tried for a long time but still couldn’t make a sound.

“Tsk, is he asleep again? Ai, he’s about to die, why is he still taking up space? What bad luck. Just find an overpass to sleep on for a night. Freezing to death would be quicker.” The landlord’s voice gradually faded away.

Lin Ganzhi’s heart sank, and he was silent for a long time. So that’s what people outside thought of him in his past life.

“Yo, are you awake now? Lin Ganzhi, don’t think you can get away with it by playing dead. I’m telling you, it took me a lot of effort to find you. You don’t have the strength to escape now. Be a good boy, clean yourself up and keep me company for a few days. Maybe you can even save up some money for medicine and live a few more days.”

Lin Ganzhi froze. It was that bastard who wanted to use the casting couch on him! How did he find this place?

Wake up! Quickly!

No matter how loud he screamed in his heart, Lin Ganzhi’s body lay there like a log. He could feel that presence getting closer and closer. Lin Ganzhi was so full of hatred that tears were about to stream down his face.

“With such a beautiful face, why didn’t you think things through back then? You’ve suffered enough in society, haven’t you? Look at how thin your little face is. There, there, I’ll take good care of you!”

Fuck!

Lin Ganzhi bit down hard on his lower lip. The next second, the taste of blood filled his entire mouth. Lin Ganzhi struggled with all his might to break free from his body’s restraints and opened his eyes.

A familiar yet strange chandelier appeared in the white night, a mixture of moonlight and snow. Lin Ganzhi’s forehead was covered in a dense layer of sweat.

It was a dream. He was still here.

Lin Ganzhi touched his chest, his nose stinging with tears. The taste of blood in his mouth was also real. He had forcibly woken himself up.

But the dream was too real, so real that he felt that everything here was the dream, and that when he woke up, he would be back there again.

Lin Ganzhi’s eyes uncontrollably turned red, tears welling up in them. His hands were shaking uncontrollably.

Lin Ganzhi threw off the covers and got out of bed, forgetting to put on his slippers as he subconsciously headed straight for Yan Shengping’s room. Fortunately, the floor was covered with a thick carpet. Lin Ganzhi walked over quickly, but when he reached Yan Shengping’s door, he slowed his pace and then gently turned the doorknob.

Yan Shengping’s room was filled with his scent, a cold woody fragrance, steady, with the smell of old photographs.

Lin Ganzhi walked in quietly and saw the bulge under the covers. His heart, which had been hanging in mid-air, gradually calmed down. It was probably two or three in the morning now. Lin Ganzhi stood there for a while, feeling like he was about to cry. In order not to wake Yan Shengping, Lin Ganzhi forced himself to turn around and go back.

Suddenly, the room lit up at that moment. Lin Ganzhi froze.

“Why are you here at this hour? Had a nightmare?” A sound came from behind him. Yan Shengping put on his slippers and walked over.

Lin Ganzhi’s eyes were still filled with tears. He didn’t want Yan Shengping to know what he was thinking right now. It was too melodramatic.

“It’s nothing, I just got confused in my sleep. I was going to the bathroom and went the wrong way. You should get some rest. I’ll be going now,” Lin Ganzhi said, his back to Yan Shengping, deliberately using a light tone.

But just as he was about to leave, Yan Shengping grabbed his arm and pulled him onto the bed.

Before Lin Ganzhi could say anything, Yan Shengping took a blanket and wrapped it around his feet, his voice tinged with anger as he wrapped him up. “You’re so confused from sleep that you don’t even wear slippers? Do you know what the temperature is right now?”

Lin Ganzhi silently lowered his head and admitted his mistake.

When Yan Shengping stood up, his sharp eyes caught sight of something. He quickly reached out and clamped Lin Ganzhi’s chin. Lin Ganzhi’s resistance was futile, and his red eyes and tear-streaked face were all seen by Yan Shengping.

Lin Ganzhi frantically tried to struggle free, but Yan Shengping’s hand was as hard as a rock. He could only stay put and let Yan Shengping stare at him.

Yan Shengping’s expression gradually darkened, but when he saw the blood at the corner of Lin Ganzhi’s mouth, all his anger dissipated. He asked with heartache, “What happened to the blood on your lip?”

Hmm? Lin Ganzhi was baffled. Had the blood flowed out? He tried to lick the wound. He hadn’t felt it before, but now Lin Ganzhi realized it hurt. He had bitten into the flesh.

“I had a nightmare. I wanted to wake up, so,” Lin Ganzhi explained haltingly.

Yan Shengping could tell at a glance that it was no simple nightmare. He let go of Lin Ganzhi and turned to get the first-aid kit from the cabinet behind him, then went to the bathroom to wet a towel with warm water. He had never taken special care of anyone before, so he could only rely on instinct and place the warm towel over Lin Ganzhi’s eyes.

Lin Ganzhi’s eyelashes trembled violently before the towel touched them, and then his tears unceremoniously soaked into the towel. Since coming here, he had never dreamed of his nightmarish past. He had almost thought he would never be able to go back.

“Yan Shengping,” Lin Ganzhi called out his name in a hoarse voice. He didn’t want to be like this, but once he had someone he cherished, he couldn’t help but want to be close to them, not wanting to leave them. Although he said he didn’t like kissing, he felt very happy about Yan Shengping’s cherishing of him.

Lin Ganzhi obediently pressed his head against the towel. His somewhat messy pink hair now looked a little listless. He was just wearing a pair of pale yellow coral fleece pajamas, his shoulders trembling with extreme restraint.

Seeing Lin Ganzhi like this, Yan Shengping’s heart ached along with him. He reached out and hugged Lin Ganzhi, gently stroking his head and coaxing him in a low voice, “I’m here. What did you dream about? To make you so upset.”

Lin Ganzhi buried his face in Yan Shengping’s chest and sniffled, his hands uncontrollably clutching Yan Shengping’s clothes. His guard gradually let down under Yan Shengping’s repeated reassurances, but as for the dream, Lin Ganzhi didn’t know how to begin.

Seeing that Lin Ganzhi wasn’t trembling so much anymore, Yan Shengping gently let him go and then turned to get alcohol and ointment from the first-aid kit.

“It will hurt a little at first, bear with it,” Yan Shengping said, dabbing ointment on a cotton swab. He held Lin Ganzhi’s chin with one hand and gently applied it to the wound on his lower lip. The wound was deep enough to see the flesh. Yan Shengping resisted the urge to scold Lin Ganzhi, his movements somewhat clumsy but meticulous as he applied the ointment to the wound.

Lin Ganzhi hissed in pain. Yan Shengping immediately stopped. He waited until Lin Ganzhi blinked and his brows gradually relaxed before continuing to apply the medicine. Lin Ganzhi looked at Yan Shengping’s long, dense eyelashes gently sweeping his lower eyelids, and his heart warmed. It was as if the wound on his mouth didn’t hurt so much anymore. To be able to see Yan Shengping when he woke up…

It was so good.

After applying the medicine, Yan Shengping naturally kept Lin Ganzhi by his side. If it were the usual Lin Ganzhi, he would have shyly refused, but tonight Lin Ganzhi didn’t want to leave Yan Shengping either. When Yan Shengping lay down beside him, Lin Ganzhi secretly scooted closer to him, closing the ten-centimeter distance.

Just as Lin Ganzhi was secretly pleased about this, Yan Shengping reached out and pulled him into a tight embrace.

Lin Ganzhi gently pushed a couple of times, then blushed and fell silent, silently accepting it.

“Did you dream about the past?” Yan Shengping suddenly asked from above his head, his acuity surprising Lin Ganzhi.

Lin Ganzhi froze.

Yan Shengping continued, “The things you’ve encountered since you came here wouldn’t make you hurt yourself just to wake up. I shouldn’t casually ask about your past, but… I’m very worried about you.”

One word, “worried,” and the last line of defense in Lin Ganzhi’s heart also came down.

“I’m telling you, you’re not allowed to look at me with strange eyes, and you’re not allowed to pity me!” Lin Ganzhi threatened fiercely, his voice nasal.

Yan Shengping agreed to everything.

He had suffered a lot in the past, so much that if he were to tell all the details, it would take days and nights. Lin Ganzhi was also unwilling to add too many adjectives to his past. He just said, “In the past, I was an orphan. After graduating from university, I became an actor. Later, an investor wanted to use the casting couch on me. I refused, and then I was blacklisted. That investor targeted me, and in the end, I couldn’t even get work as an extra. After that, I just found a random job, but then I got stomach cancer and eventually died of it.”

Yan Shengping focused on the words “stomach cancer” and “died of it.” His heart felt as if it were being pricked by countless needles. So he had thought that Lin Ganzhi had come here after some accident in his original world, but he had never imagined that he had… died of illness. And it was stomach cancer. No wonder he was so concerned about his health after coming here. Was it because he didn’t want him to be like his past self?

Yan Shengping’s arms holding Lin Ganzhi tightened a bit more.

Lin Ganzhi suddenly felt that his request was a bit excessive. If he liked Yan Shengping as much as he did now, and if Yan Shengping were him, he would be very upset. Lin Ganzhi thought for a moment and decided to comfort his top.

But he didn’t expect Yan Shengping to speak first: “Ganzhi, move in with me.”