Chapter 2 – Feigning Profundity to Swindle a Thousand Gold

Chou Bodeng.

The moment those three words were spoken, it was as if a clap of thunder had sounded out of thin air.

News didn’t travel quickly between the Twelve Continents of the Central Lands. If you asked someone in Qing Province who the current Taiyi Sect Master was, they probably wouldn’t know. But if you mentioned “Chou Bodeng,” there wasn’t a soul who hadn’t heard the name.

This was because that very lord had just vanquished all manner of oddballs to gloriously ascend to the top of the world’s Profligate Rankings!

He was the last disciple taken by a certain grand ancestor of the Taiyi Sect before his passing, giving him a seniority that outranked even the Sect Master and the elders. All the younger generation Taiyi disciples had to address him as “Little Martial Ancestor.” Fortunately, the Taiyi Sect knew well not to air its dirty laundry in public and strictly controlled any images of their Little Martial Ancestor, thus managing to save some face. This, however, only made everyone more curious about this number one profligate, known by reputation but not by face. They wildly guessed he had a green face and fangs, three heads and six arms, or wings sprouting from his ribs. The list went on, but in short, he had become a staple of idle gossip.

Today, the legendary figure had walked out of teatime talk and into reality.

He wasn’t ugly or fierce. He was actually quite handsome.

He wore a golden coronet in his black hair, with some strands left untied, casually gathered at the back and secured with a scarlet ribbon. A half-moon golden ring hung from the coronet, partially threaded through his dark hair, with a diamond-shaped clasp dangling a three-stranded, peacock-feather-like ornament on his forehead. As he walked, light and shadow danced at the corners of his eyes. His red robe had wide sleeves, revealing a pair of elegant wrists. He carried a sword in his right hand, and on his left, near the wrist bone, was a dark gold bracelet about three centimeters wide.

His every glance was spirited and confident, looking like someone who would dare to flip the heavens itself.

A strange sense of clarity washed over the crowd, as if a fog had lifted. They thought: Yes, this is exactly the kind of person he’d be.

They just wondered, “Why didn’t he say so when he was selling the sword?”

If he had, out of respect for the Taiyi Sect, the pawnshop clerk wouldn’t have just thrown him out. Could it be he found the act of pawning a sword beneath him?

Chou Bodeng’s hearing was sharp. He overheard and had a sudden realization. “Oh, so you’re supposed to announce your name first!”

The crowd was floored.

He couldn’t be entirely blamed for this.

For one, announcing his family name was something others had always done for him. If no one asked, it would never occur to him to advertise his own status. Secondly, the pawnshop owners and clerks, upon seeing the broken sword in his hand, had ushered him out before he even had a chance to state his name.

The news of the number one profligate’s appearance spread like wildfire, from one to ten, ten to a hundred, and a hundred to a thousand.

By the time the green-robed steward led Chou Bodeng to the Liu Residence, a long dragon of curious onlookers trailed behind them, causing the welcoming Lord Liu to break out in a cold sweat.

Lord Liu was a man of shrewd judgment. When he received the news, he felt like he was holding a hot potato.

This person claimed to be that Little Martial Ancestor from the Taiyi Sect, but he didn’t know if it was an impersonation. How could he dare ask the legendary number one profligate to prove his identity? If he was the real deal and felt slighted, holding a grudge against him, wouldn’t that be disastrous? But if he was an impostor, it would become a huge joke, and the Taiyi Sect might even hold it against them.

Fortunately, a distinguished guest in his residence recognized this individual and was willing to accompany Lord Liu to greet him.

“Mister… Mister Zuo.”

Seeing the person approaching from a distance, Lord Liu nervously asked the fat man beside him.

The fat man stood on his tiptoes, and after a single glance, his face changed. “It’s him, it’s him, no doubt about it!”

As he spoke, he turned to slip back inside, his heart crying out in misery. Why on earth is this guy here? Could it be he knows my old man was the one who personally ranked him first on the Profligate Rankings, and he’s here to cause trouble for me? I’m doomed! My old man is going to be the death of me!

While the fat man’s legs trembled, on the verge of fleeing, Lord Liu, now reassured, scurried forward to greet them, his wrinkled face all smiles as he ushered the guest inside.

There were three people in the main hall of the Liu family mansion.

A white-bearded, white-browed Daoist Priest from the Xuanqing Sect, a renowned rogue cultivator with a face full of menacing flesh, and a young, composed genius from the Mountain Sea Pavilion. When Chou Bodeng entered, the three were standing there, bowing to each other and desperately trying to yield the seat of honor:

“Daoist Priest Xuanqing, your formation arts are outstanding. You are most deserving of this chief seat.”

“Young Friend Lou, you are too modest. Who doesn’t know the fame of the Mountain Sea Pavilion’s Azure Sword!”

“Brother Jiang’s Hong Saber is a rare sight in this world…”

“…”

They shared a tacit understanding, pretending not to see the newcomer.

Normally, when encountering someone from the Profligate Rankings, cultivators who valued their reputation would adopt an air of aloofness, as if they disdained to associate with such company. But this time, the person was here to answer the notice and exorcise a demon alongside them, and his status was unusually high. They couldn’t just storm off, so they could only hope he would have the sense to stand aside and watch quietly.

The ostracized individual didn’t feel the least bit awkward or upset.

He walked right through the middle of the three and sat himself down in the seat of honor.

The three masters were speechless.

The atmosphere became awkward in an instant.

Lord Liu hurried over to smooth things over. “Esteemed Immortals, what items will you require for the exorcism?”

Only then did the three masters, their faces a mixture of green and red, retract their dagger-like glares.

The Daoist Priest only asked for a vermilion brush, some white atractylodes, and cinnabar. The disciple from the Mountain Sea Pavilion said he had his own magical artifact, and the saber user also claimed he needed nothing. Lord Liu instructed someone to prepare the three items for the Daoist Priest, then approached Chou Bodeng, his face wreathed in smiles. “Immortal Elder Chou, what do you think? What might you need? This humble one will certainly do his utmost to prepare it.”

In truth, he didn’t think this Little Martial Ancestor from Taiyi could accomplish anything. He was just planning to humor him to avoid any trouble.

The white-browed Daoist Priest couldn’t help but snort softly upon seeing this.

A prodigal son catching ghosts? Absurd!

But then they heard Chou Bodeng leisurely list a long string of items.

“One Silver Shad, exactly one and a half kilograms, no more, no less. It must be fresh. Stew it until it’s falling apart, then meticulously remove the bones. Make a soup with the finest green bamboo shoots as a garnish. Once ready, serve it in a pale green, shallow-ridged glass bowl…”

The others had been planning to listen to what “profound insights” this fellow could offer, but as they listened, their expressions gradually turned to bewilderment.

Lord Liu’s smile froze.

“Wait, what do you need these things for?” Lou Jiang, the genius from the Mountain Sea Pavilion, was a by-the-book academic and had never seen such unorthodox methods. “Silver Shad, noodles, Pearl Mushrooms, green bamboo shoots… I’ve never heard of these being used for exorcism.”

Chou Bodeng gave him a look reserved for the mentally deficient and patiently explained, “To eat, of course.”

The rogue saber user asked coldly, “Are you planning to treat the ghost to a meal to make it scram? Not bad, that’s a nice, easy way to do it.”

“Of course it’s not for the ghost.”

Now that he was being waited on, Chou Bodeng was in a much better mood. He wasn’t even angry at being challenged by Lou Jiang and the saber user.

“I’m hungry. How can I possibly perform an exorcism on an empty stomach? Don’t you agree, Lord Liu?”

Lord Liu was sweating profusely. “Yes, yes, Immortal Elder Chou is right. Is there anything else you need?”

“Bring me a jar of Heavenly Dew Wine… on second thought, you probably don’t have that. Just any aged wine will do. Get something with a clear color and a strong fragrance. I’ll need some fruit as well.”

Qing Province was the territory of the Mountain Sea Pavilion, which prided itself on “hiding a thousand autumns in its mountains and embracing a hundred rivers in its seas.” They were the most knowledgeable about all sorts of rare and exotic treasures. Hearing this, Lou Jiang’s expression changed. “Heavenly Dew? Is that the Rootless Rain, formed from spiritual energy when a Two-Headed Kui Dragon connects heaven and earth, that falls on the peak of North Star Mountain, untouched by the mortal world?”

Chou Bodeng gave Lou Jiang a surprised look. “I think so. It has a light taste, pretty decent.”

Lou Jiang was speechless.

Heavenly Dew could help cultivators comprehend the mysteries of heaven and earth. Every year, their Mountain Sea Pavilion had to grovel and offer huge sums of money just to beg for a small jar from those coffin-faced people at the Taiyi Sect, and even then, they were as stingy as if they were giving charity. And now, those coffin-faced bastards were letting a degenerate like Chou Bodeng waste it on making wine? Was the Taiyi Sect insane?

Were they?!

He couldn’t think about it anymore. The more he thought, the more he felt like he would vomit blood.

“That’s all.”

Chou Bodeng listed a few more items. After a rough day, his appetite was a bit off.

“This will have to do.”

Lord Liu was drenched in sweat.

The crowd outside the Liu family mansion hadn’t yet dispersed when they saw the green-robed steward burst out of the residence again, followed by all the young servants of the Liu household, scurrying about like dogs with their tails on fire. In less than the time it takes for a quarter of an incense stick to burn, the entire city of Fu was thrown into a rolling boil.

One by one, Silver Shad were slapped onto long tables, and cages of chickens and ducks were brought out.

“This one’s a tael too heavy!”

“Half a tael too light!”

“Too heavy, too heavy! Hey, hey, now it’s too light!”

“…”

The Silver Shad, a fish whose scales were usually worth more than a hundred silver pieces, was being rejected for the first time, its tail slapping furiously.

Here, a hundred fish were being selected like imperial concubines; there, a thousand chickens were being inspected like generals. The various poultry in their bamboo cages were startled into a cacophony of squawks.

“He wants pure white!”

“This one has mixed feathers!”

“…”

The onlookers were dumbfounded. Never in their lives had they seen such a fuss.

As expected of the number one profligate!

Finally, the chef, as if facing a great enemy, placed the dishes and bowls into a red wooden food box. A matron tremblingly carried it out of the kitchen. In the long corridor, a young maidservant took over, carefully carrying it into the hall. Lord Liu stood respectfully by as he watched Chou Bodeng slowly wash his hands and condescendingly pick up his chopsticks, so nervous it felt like a sword was hanging over his head.

“It’s passable.”

Lord Liu felt as if he had been granted a great amnesty.

The red-robed ancestor twirled his chopsticks, picking and choosing, offering aged and harsh critiques—this was a bit old, that was a bit overdone. To listen to him, one would think this wasn’t a table of delicacies, but some sort of gut-twisting poison that was wronging this great young master.

Lou Jiang turned his head away.

He was worried that if he kept watching, he wouldn’t be able to resist drawing his sword and ridding the world of this pest.

That would trigger a war between the Mountain Sea Pavilion and the Taiyi Sect.

“It seems the Taiyi Sect isn’t as righteous and pure as the rumors say. Poor Lord Liu not only has to worry about his daughter but has also gained an ancestor out of thin air,” the saber user sneered.

Lou Jiang deeply agreed.

Since Chou Bodeng had accepted the notice, the Taiyi Sword had been playing dead, hanging casually from his waist. Now, hearing Lou Jiang’s veiled insults about Taiyi, the sword’s body trembled slightly. It seemed to be so angry it didn’t know whether to fly out and teach them a lesson or to whip Chou Bodeng—the latter seemed more likely.

Chou Bodeng swiftly grabbed the sword and calmly continued to pick at the food he could stomach.

“Idle and lazy, a disgrace to the cultured!”

The Daoist Priest shook his head repeatedly and turned to bow to Lord Liu.

“What is the young lady’s current condition? Please, Lord, lead us to see her.”

***

In the purification room.

“Shadows… there are shadows in the ground…”

Miss Liu was only sixteen. She wore a simple white, wide-sleeved robe with a center opening. Her hair was disheveled, and her figure was gaunt. She shivered as she curled up on a high table, muttering to herself over and over, her eyes fixed on the floor as if terrified something would emerge from it.

The moment someone entered, she let out a piercing scream and scrambled backward, her fingers digging into the wood, her eyes wide with terror.

“A Ren, A Ren, it’s Father! It’s Father.” Lord Liu looked pitifully at the three men in the room. “Immortal Elders, A Ren has been like this for half a month. She doesn’t recognize anyone. I beg you, please find a way!”

The Daoist Priest frowned, his gaze falling on the white robe Miss Liu was wearing. “The young lady is an Oracle Maiden?”

“Yes,” Lord Liu replied.

Fu City worshipped the Fu tree as a god, and a special City Divination Department was established to preside over the worship and sacrificial rites for the Fu tree. Women chosen to follow the City Diviner in caring for the ancient Fu tree were called “Oracle Maidens.” When the Liu family’s young lady was born, the wind blew a silver Fu leaf onto her forehead, which was seen as a sign that she was a divinely appointed Oracle Maiden.

“Has the young lady ever left the city and encountered wild ghosts in the outskirts?”

“Daoist Priest, are you joking?” Lord Liu gave a bitter smile. “An Oracle Maiden can never leave the city for her entire life. A Ren has a pure heart and would never do such a thing.”

“Strange, very strange.” The Daoist Priest’s brow furrowed. “Since she is an Oracle Maiden and has never left the city, she should be protected by the ancient Fu tree within the city. She shouldn’t have been possessed by an evil spirit. Well, let me first set up an Earth Qi Formation to see.”

He crushed the white atractylodes, mixed it with cinnabar, and dipped his vermilion brush in it. He then drew a circle on the floor around the table with fluid, dragon-like strokes. Miss Liu, squatting on the table, watched him silently. When the final stroke was complete, the Daoist Priest walked around the table, rapidly and precisely chanting the Supreme Clarity Golden Law Contract Scripture. Finally, he pointed his horsetail whisk and shouted:

“Open!”

The formation sigils, though casually drawn with a vermilion brush, seeped deep into the ground. With the Daoist Priest’s shout, a sharp, piercing light radiated out, like thousands of fine swords bursting from the earth, capable of skewering and pinning any evil spirit. The purification room was brilliantly lit. A white shadow ghost-like figure crashed through the barrier of light, its fingers curled into claws like an ape’s, as it lunged for the Daoist Priest’s face.

The Daoist Priest swept his whisk, reflexively about to strike the white shadow.

“A Ren! Daoist Priest, have mercy!”

Lord Liu was scared out of his wits.

With a clang, the saber user promptly deflected the whisk.

Lou Jiang rushed forward and pressed a bronze mirror to the forehead of the ferocious-looking A Ren. Her eyes rolled back, and she fainted. Even in her unconscious state, her body trembled violently.

None of the three looked pleased.

It would have been better to face a fierce, malevolent ghost or a vicious demon. A bloody battle would have been well within their capabilities. But Miss Liu’s current situation prevented them from using force, leaving them feeling constrained.

“The Earth Qi Formation can detect Yin Qi,” the Daoist Priest said, completely baffled. “If the young lady had Yin Qi on her, the formation would have blocked her.”

Lou Jiang put away his bronze mirror. “This Green Emperor Mirror of mine can distinguish form and spirit. The young lady’s soul matches her body. She hasn’t been replaced by a demonic creature.”

Not a ghost, not a demon. Then what was it?

Looking at the girl who trembled even in her unconscious state, all three felt the situation was tricky.

“What was she doing before she was possessed?” the saber user interjected.

“Praying to the Divine Fu Tree.”

The saber user said casually, “Could it be that she was possessed because of the Fu tree?”

“Sir, be careful with your words!” Lord Liu’s face changed, and he momentarily forgot his reverence for cultivators. “The Divine Fu Tree protects the hundred thousand citizens of our city day and night! You must not slander it so lightly!”

The saber user had only been speaking casually. To be refuted on the spot by the consistently respectful Lord Liu was a blow to his pride. “If this Fu tree of yours is so effective, why can’t it even protect its own caretaker? If even the Oracle Maiden has been possessed, I’m afraid your city god has been possessed itself!”

“You, you, you!” Lord Liu pointed at the saber user, trembling with anger.

“What else could it be? A plant becoming a god is the weakest kind to begin with,” the saber user sneered.

“The Fu tree has been protecting Miss Liu. Otherwise, she would have died long ago.”

Seeing that a fight was about to break out, the others were getting a headache when someone spoke coolly from outside.

Then, the window covered with white gauze was pushed open.

It was Chou Bodeng.

He had finished eating at some point and had wandered into the backyard. Now, standing by the window, he ran his hand over the wooden lattice, picking up a few thin objects to show everyone.

They were Fu leaves.

The Fu tree in the city was ageless. Its main trunk covered an area of five kilometers, and its canopy spread out like clouds, mist, or gauze, shrouding the high and low eaves of the houses in its dappled shade. The Fu leaves were the size of jade coins and as thin as silver foil. When the wind blew, the branches would ripple with deep and shallow waves of snowy color. When the leaves fell, they were like swarms of large and small silver fireflies drifting through the streets and alleys.

The few Fu leaves Chou Bodeng held had no luster at all. They were dim and withered, as if their life had been completely drained.

“There’s no wind.”

He looked up at a branch of the Fu tree extending into the courtyard.

There was no wind.

Yet the leaves of the Fu tree in the courtyard were still falling.

The light, thin silver leaves spiraled in the air like butterflies. As soon as the window was opened, they drifted into the purification room and landed on the girl. Miss Liu, who had been trembling just moments ago, grew still. The silver leaf that landed on her shoulder visibly dimmed.

Lord Liu was stunned for a moment, then fell to his knees with a thud, kowtowing repeatedly to the Fu tree in the courtyard, his eyes filled with tears.

“Thank you, Fu God, for protecting my daughter! Thank you, Fu God!”

The white-browed Daoist Priest stroked his whisk, looking at Chou Bodeng with a hint of surprise.

A branch of the Fu tree hung over a small pond, its silver leaves rustling softly.

It was gentle and warm.

“The ancient Fu tree has a spirit.”

Chou Bodeng placed a hand on the windowsill and, holding his broken sword, leaped lightly into the purification room, a smile playing on his lips as he looked at the saber user.

“It seems the one who didn’t need to eat isn’t all that capable either.”

The saber user’s face flushed red. “You just got lucky.”

“Oh—” Chou Bodeng drew out the sound. “I’ve heard that people with no real skill love to use luck as an excuse.”

The saber user was so angry he nearly fell over. “What can you do besides run your mouth?”

“I can also perform exorcisms!” Chou Bodeng raised an eyebrow, the peacock feather on his forehead catching the light. “It seems none of you have any ideas. In that case, I’ll be taking that thousand taels of gold.”

***

“What—”

The fat man, hiding furtively in a guest room, had just breathed a sigh of relief upon hearing that Chou Bodeng hadn’t mentioned him at all. But when he heard his junior brother from the Mountain Sea Pavilion say that Chou had declared he would take the thousand taels of gold, he spat out a mouthful of wine.

“That guy’s cultivation is even lower than mine! I’m at least at the peak of the Mind Illumination Stage!” he exclaimed in shock.

“It’s true.”

Lou Jiang stood there woodenly, his face covered in wine.

Was there any difference between the peak of Mind Illumination and the entry-level of Mind Illumination? Weren’t they both at the bottom? And you’re proud of being second to last?

What misfortune for the sect to have such a Young Pavilion Master.

“He had Lord Liu temporarily clear everyone out of the west courtyard, asked for a bed to be placed in the purification room, and said the matter would be resolved by dawn.”

“He can exorcise a ghost with just a bed? Is he planning to sleep until dawn and then swindle Lord Liu out of his gold?”

The fat man stared in the direction of the purification room, full of suspicion.

“His heart is even blacker than mine!”